Gardening is no Laughing matter, the joke is usually on the gardener

Naughty Gardeners Quips
There was a young man from Australia
on his bottom he painted a dahlia
the heat of the ball
caused the petals to fall
and the scent was a bit of a failure

What is long and thin, covered in skin,
red in parts and goes in tarts?
Rhubarb

‘I think the answer lies in the soil’ Arthur Fallowfield the man who put the sex in Sussex but left Scunthorpe alone.

Clean Gardeners (I don’t believe it)
What is the difference between bogies and broccoli? Kids wont eat broccoli

The snowman asked can you smell carrots?
Does okra come from Okrahoma
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A: A neck-tarine
What is orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

The older the better unless you are a banana
Are 2 banana skins a pair of slipper
What is green in the morning, yellow in the afternoon and brown in the evening? another banana

Going to the Flicks
Who framed Roger Raddish,
20,000 leeks under the sea,
Butch celery and the sunflower kid,
The lawn ranger,
Quatermass and the Pip,
The magnificent five-a-day,
Snow White and the 7 Dwarfbeans,
Okrahoma,
Rocky soil II,